Right, y'all, are you sitting comfortably? Today I am going to tell you about my adventures in CREATIVITY, a tale otherwise known as 'another 2 things to cross off the list of things I have done but not enjoyed.' As my mum keeps telling me 'at least you know the things you don't like.' Wise words, wise words.
So, this tale starts with a trip to Church over Christmas to sing-a-long to some carols. There was an aaaa-mmmmazing choir who made the hairs on the back of my neck and arms stand on end with their beautiful voices, harmonies and acoustics. It was very magical. Having enjoyed singing my whole life, and harboured a not so secret desire of becoming a pop star (my friend Sarah used to make me sing The Bangles 'Eternal Flame' over and over again in the lunch queue as she loved to hear me sing), I thought it was high time I got out there and reclaimed my voice.
Now, I love Glee, LOOOVEEEE it (at least until I saw that Britney episode, what was that about? Cringe!) so I trawled the internet for a Glee inspired choir...cutting a long story short I thought I had found my Glee! I rock up to the venue for my taster session last week and look around me. Where was Rachel? Where was Kurt? Most importantly, where was Puck? I find that I have joined A MUM CHOIR! (Sorry mum, as I said before, I don't mean you, I mean the universal 'mum'.) We sang CAROLE KING. I actually like Carole King, but CAROLE KING! I had a woman next to me overly 'oooooooo ooooooing' all up in my face. The woman in the row in front of me kept practicing over and over again and told us 'sopranos' what we should be doing. She was out of tune. Everyone there was late 50s/60s/70s and to top it all off the guy leading looked like a chubby version of someone I work with, which I found genuinely disturbing.
Another not so secret childhood dream was to become a dancer, one summer I even attended a dance camp! I've tried many, many dance classes during my adult life and am sad to report that I really must face facts, I am not a dancer. Tonight I tried 'Street Beat' at my gym and it was no exception. I felt as disappointed with myself as when I took a pole dancing course with my sister and we realised we were neither good nor sexy. Sigh. I cannot 'pop', I cannot 'lock' I cannot 'roll'. I cannot dance like a pop star. So, for now I'm going to stick to Michael Jackson on the Wii and pretend that I am, in fact, a good dancer as I can get 5 stars (the highest amount of stars) when dancing to 'Thriller'. And when 'Black Swan' comes out next week and I watch it I will pretend that I could have been a prima ballerina if I had just stuck at it - although, she does go completely insane so I might be jolly glad I quit.
The search continues people, the search continues.